Exploring the biblical theology of Christian egalitarianism

Ten Reasons Men Should Not Be Ordained as Ministers

This list has been doing the rounds on the internet at least since 2005. But just in case you’ve missed it, here are the top ten reasons why men should not be ordained as ministers. This insightful, and satirical, list was compiled by the late Dr David M. Scholer, a former New Testament professor at Fuller Theological Seminary. Enjoy!

10. A man’s place is in the army.

9. For men who have children, their duties might distract them from the responsibilities of being a parent.

8. Their physical build indicates that men are more suited to tasks such as chopping down trees and wrestling mountain lions. It would be “unnatural” for them to do other forms of work.

7. Man was created before woman. It is therefore obvious that man was a prototype. Thus, they represent an experiment, rather than the crowning achievement of creation.

6. Men are too emotional to be priests or pastors. This is easily demonstrated by their conduct at football games and watching basketball tournaments.

5. Some men are handsome; they will distract women worshippers.

4. An ordained pastor is to nurture the congregation. But this is not a traditional male role. Rather, throughout history, women have been considered to be not only more skilled than men at nurturing, but also more frequently attracted to it. This makes them the obvious choice for ordination.

3. Men are overly prone to violence. No really manly man wants to settle disputes by any means other than by fighting about it. Thus, they would be poor role models, as well as being dangerously unstable in positions of leadership.

2. Men can still be involved in church activities, even without being ordained. They can sweep paths, repair the church roof, and maybe even lead the singing on Father’s Day. By confining themselves to such traditional male roles, they can still be vitally important in the life of the Church.

1. In the New Testament account, the person who betrayed Jesus was a man. Thus, his lack of faith and ensuing punishment stands as a symbol of the subordinated position that all men should take.

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3 thoughts on “Ten Reasons Men Should Not Be Ordained as Ministers

  1. I’ve read it before but I think it’s funny every time.

  2. I’m not sure how I missed seeing this satirical piece, but it is hilarious. The one about men’s behavior at football games and b-ball championships as proof of their overly emotional nature–I may have to mention this at my children’s Christian school. Sports is THE thing there! Might at least get their attention, right?!

    1. It’s pretty funny, and insightful.

      A male friend of mine did a talk last weekend about equality and breaking the “stained glass ceiling” of the Sydney Anglican Church. He made this comment about no.2 in the list:

      “When I first read that reason about men still being able to do important things like sweeping footpaths, I felt insulted. I actually did. I felt, just for an instant, what my sisters in Christ have been feeling for years, and still feel.”

      I’m glad that he gets it.

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