I often hear the assertion that egalitarian women, like myself, want to be like men, or we want to do men’s jobs, or we want to be equal to men. But these ideas aren’t quite right.
I don’t want to be like a man; I love being a woman.
I don’t want to do a man’s job; I want to do my job.
I don’t even want to be equal to men, as such.
I don’t see egalitarianism so much as women being equal to men in terms of status, privileges, responsibilities, and opportunities. I see it primarily as people being equal as human beings (Genesis 1:26–28).
I don’t aspire to be like a man in any way. Moreover, at least some of the status, privileges, responsibilities, and opportunities that our culture and churches have assigned to only or mostly men, especially in the past, have been unhealthy and unChristlike.
Men as the norm or benchmark for humanity has certainly been part of our culture for centuries, and this has affected our language and customs, but this patriarchal bent is not a Christian value and shouldn’t be part of our culture in our Christian communities.
In Christ, men do not set the standard. Jesus has done that, and we are all his (younger) siblings.
Sometimes, the Christian message of equality in the New Testament is missed because of male-centred language and customs that were part of the first-century patriarchal culture. But the message is there. (See here, for example.)
We need to lose the idea that men are the benchmark for humanity within and outside of the church, a benchmark being “a standard or point of reference against which things may be compared.”
There’s more I can say about this, but I’m keeping it short for now: overall, men are not the benchmark for humanity, especially for us who are in Christ.
Also, in case my words are misunderstood, I love and appreciate my brothers and the men in my life.
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Excerpt from “Jesus washing Peter’s Feet” (1852–1856) by Ford Madox Brown (Wikimedia)
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17 thoughts on “Common Misconceptions about Christian Egalitarianism”
Thank you for this insightful article.
That’s great article Marg, so well stated
Regards
Alan
Marg, how timely for me is your article here along with the associated links. I am in the midst of preparing to officiate my niece’s wedding and have been seeking and searching for the right words and message that will bless t he couple as your words have just blessed me. Thank you. I, too, could right a book here. But for now, blessings back!
Deb
the nail is hit on the head. what pat believers think is that to open the door to egalitarianism is to let in feminism, leading to toxic fem and lgbqt ideologies. they think of it as a slippery slope. and they will do anything to “defend god’s word” such as call us rebellious, disobedient, etc.
may i put the url to this article on some of my fb groups where this issue is often cussed and discussed? there is one group called ” recovering from pat/comp” that would appreciate this
I’d love you to share the URL of this article on social media, Susan.
I more than agree with you! I very well am aware that men and women have their own strengths. My husband and I each have our own contributions to our marriage. To believe that women should be subordinate to men is dangerous. We have studied, in our weekly Bible Study group (I’m honored to be able teach this class for fifteen years), the strong women of the Bible. There are so many examples!
Very Good insight. Makes me think of Galatians 3:28. (There is neither male or female… all one in Christ Jesus). I see my wife and I as a team in our life/marriage ( I like what Connie Bausell said)
Thanks for all your kind words, everyone. 🙂
Appreciate you and this article Marg!!
As mentioned above, this is a good article. At least it is good to those who are willing to listen.
But I still get sad for those who want to hold onto their misconceptions. I get sad for those who want to put their fingers in their ears and say loudly, “La, la, la, can’t hear you! La, la, la.” For those who say, “My mind’s made up, don’t confuse me with the facts.”
There are so many people who have made male headship their hill to die on. And that hill just isn’t worth it.
Glad you are still a voice of reason in that can be linked to by those of us who need it.
Thanks.
Excellent article, however I believe that as Christians we should apply the Bible to the world we live in and not the other way around.
Both men and women are equally capable of many things and history proves that. I also recognize that many men have abused their roles as husbands, parents, and leaders. My question to you is, do you think that they were being led by God?
Also, Ephesians 5:22-24 is where Paul wrote that wives should submit to their husbands. It’s Paul writing, but who’s telling/guiding him to write it? Ephesians 5:25-33, Paul writes that husbands must love their wives like Jesus loved the church.
I think the problem is that men aren’t following what God has called them to do for their wives. Husbands have a large responsibility for their families and they will have to answer God for their marriage and as parents. This is why in Genesis 3:9, God called Adam first and began the questions with him, not Eve. God placed Adam in charge of the garden and he failed to do that. They both failed.
In marriage, no one is above anyone. God just says who’s responsible for what and who will be accountable for it.
*Not trying to start any confrontation, but just mentioning what sometimes gets overlooked.
Hi Jose, Do I think people who abused others were led by God? No, I don’t. Why do you ask?
Why did Paul write “wives submit to your husbands”? Paul may have seen or heard that some wives, after becoming followers of Jesus, were placing less importance on marriage and their relationship with their husbands. We have evidence that quite a few Christian wives in the early church were abandoning their marriages altogether. (1 Corinthians 7 addresses this and similar issues.) So Paul urges the wives to remain, or to be, submissive (deferential, loyal, allied, cooperative) with their husbands.
Also, while Paul uses the word “love” six times when addressing husband in Ephesians 5, he tells all Christians, and that would include wives, to love as Jesus loved (Eph. 5:22. Loving as Christ loved the church is not a unique behaviour or responsibility of husbands. I’ve outlines the use of identical words in Eph. 5:2 and Eph. 5:25 here:
https://margmowczko.com/ephesians-522-33-in-a-nutshell/
I see parts of the Genesis 2-3 story differently from you.
God speaks to Adam before Eve in Genesis 3:8-13, but he speaks to Eve before Adam in Genesis 3:16-19. God speaks to the man and to the woman individually and holds each accountable for their own actions. And each will experience “sorrowful toil” (Hebrew: itstsabon) because of their own disobedience.
God put the first human in Eden in charge of the garden. It was not good for this person to be alone, however, so God made a woman from a side taken out of this person. It’s reasonable to think, once the woman was made, that she worked side by side with the man and that they shared responsibility for the garden which was a sacred space. No other ongoing task is mentioned in Genesis 2.
Sex and procreation don’t seem to have been part of the Eden experience. There are none of the usual Hebrew words that refer to sexual relationships in Genesis 2 like we have in Genesis 4:1, 17, and 25, for example. Nevertheless, the man and woman formed a close and exclusive bond. They were a couple. And this was later consummated.
Wifely submission does not get overlooked, I will note that fact. We get it in sermons, books, discussions, study groups, etc., all the time. It is a constant drumbeat.
It is worth reading the entire passage in Ephesians because it is a beautiful portrait of how life among believers is supposed to be lived — by following God’s example. Remember that there are no chapter titles or chapter divisions in the original language. So you get down to verse 21 and it instructs believers to submit to one another.
The word “submit” doesn’t appear in verse 22; the meaning follows directly from verse 21. Verse 21 forms the beginning of an easily understandable language technique: Believers are to submit to one another, wives to husbands in this way, and husbands to wives in that way.
Paul knew the culture for which he was writing. He was wise enough to know that (1) he could not use the word “submit” specifically to husbands without losing his audience, and (2) wives had far more experience submitting than husbands and thus husbands needed significantly more instruction in what that would look like between believers.
The expectation that wifely submission is different in form or degree than submission between believers is not borne out by this passage, where all believers are commanded to practice submission to each other, including husbands and wives.
The word “submission” has been so abused and taken to such extremes by power-hungry people that many husbands can’t even imagine what mutual submission might look like between spouses. That’s why we have those descriptions/instructions in Ephesians 5. The word “submission” doesn’t mean obedience like a child, or unconditional obedience. It simply means to practice deference, kindness, and unselfishness, things that aren’t wifely functions, but things that all believers are called to do, including in marriage.
Egalitarians don’t object to wifely submission. We read the Bible and see that the values of actual submission are responsibilities that both spouses carry, not just the wife alone.
I love this! “Men are not the benchmark for humanity.” Thank you!
[…] Common Misconceptions about Christian Egalitarianism […]
Just putting this here.
The ideas that women want to be like men or that women want to be equal to men, in a way, reflect patriarchal thinking because they make men the benchmark.
Sociologist Allan Johnson has made the statement that “A society is patriarchal to the degree that it is male dominated, male identified, and male centred …”
And, “core cultural ideas about what is considered good, desirable, preferable, or normal are associated with how we think about men and masculinity.”
Allan G. Johnson, The Gender Knot: Unravelling Our Patriarchal Legacy (Temple University Press, 1997), 5-6.
Quoted in Beth Allison Barr‘s book, Becoming the Pastor’s Wife (Brazos Press, 2025), 112.