Mary Kassian posted a blog post on the 1st of August 2012 entitled Sex in the Shadowlands that includes the diagram above. This diagram sends a faulty message. (Image used with permission.)
I agree with Mary Kassian that the word “head” (kephalē) is used in the context of unity and oneness in the New Testament; however, Mary and her diagram take the concept of “head” and unity further than Scripture does.
The diagram shows that the Lord God (presumably the Triune God) is the head of the incarnate Jesus Christ; that Jesus Christ is the head of the church; and that a husband is the head of his wife. In the New Testament, God, Jesus Christ, and husbands/ men are indeed called “heads.”
However, the diagram also indicates that church elders and, as an aside on the far left, fathers are “heads.” But elders are never referred to as “heads” in the Greek New Testament. The word “head” (kephalē) used in the Greek NT is not well understood, so it’s unwise for us to use the word in ways that have no biblical basis.
One common misunderstanding is that the Greek word kephalē (“head”) means “a person in authority in authority over others.”[2] Rather than “authority,” kephalē is used in verses such as Ephesians 5:23 as part of a head-body metaphor symbolising unity. In 1 Corinthians 11:3, “head” may convey the sense “point of origin” or “firstness.”[3] In other NT verses, kephalē is used with the metaphorical sense of “fullness.” I provide an overview of verses where “head” is used in the context of relationships here.
Here is a comment I left on Mary Kassian’s blog about the diagram. (It was never approved and comments are now closed.)
. . . on the left hand side it says, “Head (Father) of the house.” There is no Scripture that says the father is the head of the house. None.
Ephesians 5:23 does say that husband is the head of the wife. But it doesn’t say that the husband is the head of the household; it doesn’t even say that the husband, or father, is the head of the family. The head-body metaphor is one of unity—a profound, intimate unity that uniquely applies to husbands and wives, and not to fathers and households, etc.
We need to be careful that we don’t let an English understanding of “head” confuse what is being said in the Greek. I have yet to see “head” (kephalē) mean “leader” or “ruler” in texts originally written in Classical or Koine Greek before Paul’s time.[4]
Also, the New Testament does not say that elders are the “head” (kephalē) of the church community. What it does say is that Jesus Christ is the head of his church which is his body. There is a unique and profound unity between Christ and his Church, the head and the body. [I’ve written more about leadership in the community of God’s people here.]
We need to keep to the scriptures when we use the word “head” metaphorically as there is a danger that we will lose the impact of the head–body metaphor if we start applying it in non–biblical ways to fathers, elders, or households, etc.
My internet friend Retha also wrote an important blog post in response to Mary Kassian’s rather alarming article Sex in the Shadowlands.
Footnotes
[1] Ephesians 5:21-33 is about sacrificial love and mutual submission, and not about leadership. There are many words for leaders and leadership in the Greek language. These words are never used for husbands in the Greek NT. [I have more about Ephesians 5:22-33 here and here.]
[2] While I have yet to come across kephalē used with the meaning of “leader” (a person with leadership authority over other people) in ancient texts originally written in Greek.
[3] Origins is one of the contexts of 1 Corinthians 11:2ff (cf. 1 Cor. 11:12). Paul wanted the Christians in Corinth to know that men and women are mutually interdependent on each other and ultimately share the same source — God himself (1 Cor. 11:12). [I have more about 1 Corinthians 11:2-16 here.]
[4] I have written about non-biblical first-century Greek texts, especially texts written by Jewish authors such as Philo, that use the word kephalē as a metaphor in human relationships here.
Image used with permission.
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Explore more
An Overview of Paul’s Use of Kephalē (“Head”)
Paul’s Use of Kephalē (“Head”) in Ephesians
Kephalē and Male Headship in Paul’s Letters
All my articles on “head” (kephalē) are here.
(1) Respect and Submission in 1 Peter 3:1-6
(2) Respect and Submission in 1 Peter 3:7-8
A Suitable Helper (in Hebrew)
10 thoughts on “Who is the “head”?”
Wonderful!
Ignoring the theological faults in Kassian’s article, am I the only one who finds the graphic disgusting? I’m not immature about sexual topics, but how could anyone think that showing a visual of “Lord God” having sex with Jesus is a good idea? For someone who teaches modesty and complains of the way our culture treats sex, Kassian kind of puts it out there. Did no one who was close to her have the guts to say, “Maybe you’ve taken this analogy too far, you should reconsider your graphic?” Or are they so steeped in complementarian theology that they just accept articles like these with no questions? If I had to guess, I would guess that Kassian closed the comments because there was somewhat of a backlash with the theology and graphic in the article. I honestly hope and prayed that not a lot of non-christians see her diagram, it makes Christians seem pretty foolish.
I don’t think that Mary was saying that God has sex with Jesus, or that elders have sex with members of the church community for that matter!
I strongly doubt Paul had sex in mind when he used the word “head” in Ephesians 5:23. Unity in marriage doesn’t come about just by sex.
I appreciate people like you standing up for the truth even when it is “controversial”.
Thanks Cheryl. I think Mary is the one making controversial statements, statements that fall down when looked at logically and tested with Scripture. 😉
Thank you so much for this insightful article, Marg. I know that some Complementarians do abuse that “headship” word for making husbands as final decision making or a boss who should decide everything for the wife. But I think actually many of them aren’t actually really that different from you for that view of husband-wife relation. Many of them would agree that NO husband should make one-sided decision or domineering the wife. So, here I have an article about John Piper’s explanation of husband headship. If you have time, can you please review it, I mean, which of his words that you can still agree, and which ones that you disagree. I already know the case for your answers according to your writings. But I just want to know your view personally about this one. Thanks.
https://www.desiringgod.org/interviews/what-does-it-mean-for-a-man-to-lead-his-family-spiritually
Hello Pierce,
The title of the article you shared is “What does it mean for a man to lead his family spiritually?” I disagree with the basic premise of the title let alone the article.
There’s no indication in Ephesians 5:22-33 (which is about marriage: the relationship between two people, wife and husband) or in 1 Corinthians 11:2-16 (which is about the appearance of men and women who were praying and prophecying) that “head” refers to spiritual leadership of families.
There is no verse in the New Testament where Jesus, Paul, Peter, etc, tell husbands to lead their wives. None. Rather, Paul tells husbands to love their wives.
The idea that a man needs to shoulder the responsibilities of family life, and life in general, on their own as the leader seems to go against why God created Eve in Eden.
You may be interested in this article:
https://margmowczko.com/male-headship-ephesians-5/
Hi Marg, thank you for your reply. I already know that you never agree with husband as “head” in family in that sense of “headship”. I already know that you disagree that husband should not be a one-sided decision-maker or a boss. And I already understand and agree that the Ephesians 5 passage never talk about male and female in general. I agree with your thought of those. But I think you still miss the point of my question. I wasn’t asking if you agree with “husband headship” or not. But specificly, these are the things that I want to ask:
1. In the article that I shared, Piper said that husband is not an authoritative master that should be obeyed all the time because he is not Jesus.
2. In the article, Piper said that husband should NOT make one-sided decisions, and that wife should be listened to everytime they want to discuss something about the family. But what he means for “leading” here is more about the importance of tge husband’s initiative. For example, the husband should be the one who initiate the discussion with the wife about the education of the children. Isn’t that actually compatible with the husband’s work of “loving and protecting”?
Once again, I’m not asking if you agree with the Complementarian view in general or not. I just ask if maybe there is still some fragment of their view that you would still agree (for example: many Complementarians say that women may speak about The Word at Christian conferences, and ofc Egals also says that they can).
That’s all, thank you and God bless you.
Hi Pierce, yes I wasn’t sure what you were asking, or why.
Not all complementarians believe the same things as each other. Not all complementarians practice the same things as each other. The same goes for egalitarians. But there are lots of things my complementarian friends and I agree with.
I agree with this statement in the article you shared: “The teaching in the New Testament (1 Peter 2:13–17; Ephesians 5:21–33; Colossians 3:17–25) is that Christians — male and female — first relate to the Lord Jesus as their supreme master.” There are plenty of verses that instruct us to follow Jesus Christ as Lord.
But I disagree with the article’s overall message that Ephesians 5:21-25 (the passage quoted the beginning of the article) is about men having a special obligation to be spiritual leaders in the home, let alone in their marriages. This is NOT what Ephesians 5 is about. And Paul’s main point in his intructions to wives and husbands is in verse 27, but this verse is not brought up in the article.
Regarding points 1 and 2 that you mentioned, it goes without saying that Christians shouldn’t engage in any form of controlling or unkind behaviour. This is a given, so there’s no need for me to comment on husbands being “authoritative masters” or making “one-sided decisions.” No sensible Christian thinks this is acceptable behaviour for any Christian, man or woman. “Authoritative masters” and making “one-sided decisions” has nothing to do with any New Testament verse that speaks about marriage, and it has nothing to do with how Paul uses the word “head.”
As for this example, “the husband should be the one who initiate the discussion with the wife about the education of the children. Isn’t that actually compatible with the husband’s work of ‘loving and protecting’?”
Why assume the husband should initiate this? And what does this have to do with what Paul says in Ephesians 5?
Where does Paul indicate the husband should initiate discussions about marriage, about family life, or about any topic? I’m sure you don’t think a wife is suppposed to keep her thoughts to herself if she sees a concern with their children, and that she should wait quietly waiting for her husband to bring it up? This sounds unhealthy, unhelpful, and unproductive. Surely, the person who spots an issue first should simply mention it. No? Why complicate things? Most people think honest, open, and kind communication is good for healthy marriages. And again, what does this have to do with Ephesians 5?
Also, all of us are to love sacrificially as Christ loved and “gave himself up.” This is not a behaviour unique to husbands. Paul uses practically identical language in Ephesians 5:2 (addressed to his whole audience, wives included) as in Ephesians 5:25 (addressed to husbands). I’ve written about this here:
https://margmowczko.com/ephesians-522-33-in-a-nutshell/
Where does Paul say husbands have a greater responsibility to protect their wives? There are biblical examples where wives protected husbands and women protected men. Protecting each other is good, but no New Testament author, including Paul, ties this to gender.
I can’t see that the example Paul gives of Christ and the church, the Saviour of the body, has anything to do with husbands, but not wives, initiating discussions. And it doesn’t have much to do with protection either.
I discuss how Paul uses “head + body” in Ephesians 1, Ephesians 4, and Ephesians 5, here:
https://margmowczko.com/head-body-in-ephesians/ How Paul uses this imagery is MUCH more relevant than whether, in marriage, only a husband should initiate discussions.
It seems I have a very different idea of what Paul was saying to 1st-century wives and husbands when he used “head + body” in Ephesians 5 than what is indicated in the article. We need to start with Paul’s words and his examples of Christ’s actions before we try to work out relevant 21st-century expressions of them which, no doubt, will vary with each couple. No two marriages are the same.
I wrote the short article above in 2012 in response to Mary Kassian’s article. Since then, I have learnt a lot more about the Greek word kephalē (“head”) and how it is used in ancient texts. See here:
https://margmowczko.com/category/kephale-head/
I didn’t use the word “headship” in the body or footnotes of the article. “Headship” is a contrived word that is not used in any good translation of the Bible, and I almost never use it to describe my own thoughts. Yet you claim to know what I think about “headship” and husbands and families. How about we use Paul’s words if we’re discussing Paul, and use my words when claiming to know what I think.
All of Paul instructions in 1 Corinthians 11:2-16, where Paul uses the word “head” several times, were given in the context of men and women praying and prophesying aloud in church meetings in Corinth. Paul did not silence these men and women, he did not tell them to stop speaking, so why bring up the whether women today can speak at conferences, or anywhere else?
Pierce, Let me add that this statement bugs me: “you never agree with husband as “head” in family in that sense of “headship.”
I would never use those words to describe what I do or what I don’t believe. So let me clarify what I do believe.
Men have a responsibility for the welfare of all family members, including their spouse, but especially young and elderly dependents.
Similarly, women have a responsibility for the welfare of all family members, including their spouse, but especially young and elderly dependents.
We need to care for each other with the skills and resources we possess.
Furthermore, in both the Old and New Testaments, there are repeated instructions given to children (including, or especially, grown children) for them to obey their father and mother, and for them to honour their father and mother. I list these verses here:
https://margmowczko.com/leading-together-in-the-home/
The Bible does not prescribe a gender hierarchy between fathers and mothers.
In the original languages of the Bible, wives are never directly instructed to obey their husbands. Men, however, are instructed to honour women (1 Peter 3:7; cf. Eph. 5:33).
The notions that John Piper attaches to his idea of “male headship” have little to no basis in scripture. “Male headship” is a contrived idea. We should get rid of the term.
If you want to find out what I do believe Paul meant when he used the word “head,” which he used only once in the context of husbands and marriage, please read this article.
https://margmowczko.com/overview-pauls-use-of-head/